While I’m at it, my partner also made these ridiculous Haagen Dazs ice cream sundaes because I might have had a small PhD panic attack at a bus stop on a busy road this week…
Today, being Thursday, 28 August 2014.
I’ve got something to cheer all the feminists up.
All FIVE Manchester Politics Senior Teaching Assistants for the entire ACADEMIC YEAR are female … and feminists.
And that’s pretty damn epic. Let’s celebrate!
We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. The only problem is that there is also so much other stuff, typically fixations with how people perceive us, how to get more of the things that we think will make us happy, and with keeping our weight down. So the real issue is how do we gently stop being who we aren’t? How do we relieve ourselves of the false fronts of people-pleasing and affectation, the obsessive need for power and security, the backpack of old pain, and the psychic Spanx that keeps us smaller and contained?
Here’s how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake’s line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love.
The magnificent Anne Lamott on how to begin becoming the person you were meant to be.
I’m appreciative that young men [like the ones who created the “anti-rape” nail polish] want to curb sexual assault, but anything that puts the onus on women to “discreetly” keep from being raped misses the point. We should be trying to stop rape, not just individually avoid it.
If it were truly that simple, previous iterations of this same concept would have worked. Remember “anti-rape underwear”? Or the truly terrifying “Rapex” – a female condom that would insert tiny hooks into an assailant’s penis? You can’t really expect women to wear modern chastity belts or a real-life vagina dentata in order to be safe. That’s not trying to stop rape - it’s essentially arguing that some people getting raped is inevitable.
Even if a woman were to wear special nail polish or anti-rape underwear, or if she listens to common – but misplaced – advice about not getting drunk and always walking home in a group, all she’s supposedly ensuring is that she won’t be attacked. (And even then it’s not real security, because women who do all the “right” things get raped too) What about the girl at the same party who decided to have a few drinks that night? “So long as it isn’t me” isn’t an effective strategy to end rape.
My latest at the Guardian US, Why is it easier to invent anti-rape nail polish than find a way to stop rapists? (via jessicavalenti)
I’m loving following jessicavalenti on tumblr.
Yesterday I asked my female colleague, do you ever think: ‘If something horrid were to happen to me, how much it would put me back in my PhD; instead of, you know, just how awful it would be in general?’ She replied: ‘I think about it all the time; like if I got raped, it would be worse for my PhD than for me as a person.’
Sexual violence is like an onion; just when you think you understand the complexity … there’s another layer.
You can’t help loneliness. Because there will be times when know that you have friends and family who care but you just can’t bring yourself to reach out to a single one of them. Because you’re lonely.
And you’ll tell them later about it. And they’ll go,”Why didn’t you call? You could have called.”
But you just don’t know how to explain that sort of loneliness that had you completely convinced that you were utterly alone. -Yagazie
First of the cobea scandens
Cascading lobelias … That have yet to cascade
Sweet pea wall
Tricolour convulvius and alyssum
GIANT LION HEADS … Asters. California giant asters
Who wants to garden party?
After giving an address to the Royal Institute of International Affairs at Chatham House in London, the 69-year-old Ruggiero can be seen in a YouTube video reacting after being hit with two pies by the ‘Biotic Baking Brigade’, an environmental activist group who had previously attacked Milton Friedman with pies.
Me, in my thesis chapter on former World Trade Organization Director-General Renato Ruggiero.
This sentence is the best part of my day; I mean it’s a pretty good sentence, right?
It’s a bank holiday, and I’m doing what I do everyday … thesising.
:-/ pie face
I gave him a haircut.
He made me a potato hug.